Coping with a friend's learning disability can be challenge, but it need not be overwhelming. Learn ways you can deal with your friend's learning disability and support your friendship. Learn ways to cope with your feelings and theirs and to keep your friendship healthy and positive for years to come.
Learning About the Learning Disability - How Families May React
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When your child's friend first learns she has a learning disability, she and her family may have mixed feelings about it. Some children and parents are relieved to learn why the child has difficulty learning and that she can get help with the problem through an individual education program, specially designed instruction, and special education programs. Other parents worry the child may never overcome their disability or achieve dreams their dreams in life. They may be so angry that they say or do things that hurt friends and family. Some may begin to avoid others and become loners because they want to hide their disability.
Ways to Cope with the Family and Child's Reactions to the Disability
Both you and your child may want to help the child and his family, or you may just want to understand how to be supportive of them. There are ways to cope effectively.- Understand that the child or his family's behavior may change toward you or your child. Try not to take it personally.
- Understand the child's frustration and the family's acceptance will most likely improve over time.
- If the need and the opportunity arise, help your child explain to his friend that the disability does not need to affect the friendship. They can still be friends. Let the family know you want to continue support the friendship.
Know that Your Child's Friend May Not Understand his Disability
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Your friend may not fully understand her learning disability. She may not realize that having a learning disability does not mean she cannot learn. It does not mean that she is not smart. She may not realize that she is just as intelligent as other student and may even be smarter than most. In fact, very few people really understand the truth about learning disabilities. Strange but true! Read this article on facts about learning disabilities, and share it with your child's friend and her parents if appropriate. Share it with a school counselor if you would prefer to get the information to the family and the child in a more indirect way. You'll be glad you did.
Help Your Child Strive for His Normal Relationship Routine
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Helping your child stick to you familiar friendship routines will help.
- Encourage the children to continue favorite activities.
- Privately explain to your child to treat her friend the same way she always has.
- Help the kids laugh together, tell jokes, and see the humor in everyday life.
- Show others your commitment to the friendship by treating the kids the same as usual at school and in public.
- Model and encourage loyalty to the friend when he's not present. If others make fun of him, nicely remind them it's not cool.
- If the friend is down or wants to give up, encourage him. Remind him that no matter what the problem is, he can overcome it - It just may take longer.
- Remind him we all have differences. Diversity is a strength.
Understand the Friend's Parents May Be Stressed about the Disability
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The friend's parents may have difficulty accepting and coping with their child's learning disability. The child may be stressed by his family's difficulty coping as well. Share these articles with the friend or with his parents if you feel comfortable doing so. If not, maybe your own parent or a school counselor can help.
Help Your Child Take Care of Herself by Setting Healthy Boundaries
Just as in all friendships, having a friend with a learning disability can be difficult at times. During those times, it is important for you to help your child take care of his own needs.- Encourage him to continue spending time with other friends as well.
- If the friend starts having behavior problems or hanging out with kids who use drugs or get in trouble, consider notifying the school counselor about it. The friend will need a counselor's help. You may need to distance your child and find other friends if the pal doesn't change. A counselor can help your child cope with his own feelings too.
- Avoid negative peer pressure from any of your friends - Learning disabled or not.
- Encourage other positive friendships.
