Wow, there are some seriously creepy cobwebs in here. Let me just take care of those while you read. You may have noticed that not much has been going on here for the last two weeks. Hence the cobwebs. I had an unexpected illness and have been in the hospital. It was one of those life changing situations that makes you step back and reflect on where you thought you were going and the abrupt detour your life will be taking you. And most unsettling, you're no longer in the driver's seat. It reminded me of you and what it may have been like when you learned your child had a disability. It also reminded me of an old special needs fable that is a classic in the disability community.

A Trip to Hawaii is a well-known special needs parenting fable that has been around, repeated, modified, and shared for so many years that tracking down its origins may not be possible. If you've been in involved in the disability circles long, you may have heard it. If you're new to the disability community, it is not to be missed:

"Expecting our first child was a wonderful, magical time for our family. In some ways, it was like planning a once in a lifetime trip to Hawaii and having an unexpected detour. I had read all the "travel brochures" on pregnancy explaining healthy practices and lifestyle choices I should follow. I studied child development, well child care, nutrition, early literacy, and more. I decorated the perfect nursery and stocked up on all the things a healthy new baby needs. I felt well prepared for any situation that could arise.

Late in my pregnancy, we were shocked at some unexpected news. We learned that our child would be born with potentially severe learning disabilities. Suddenly, we were no longer going to Hawaii. We were going to Holland instead, and we had a lot to learn about disabilities in infancy and early childhood.

How could this happen to us? We were not prepared for this at all. We knew nothing about Holland, had no clothes for the climate, couldn't speak the language, and we needed to learn so much. Many of the arrangements we made were no longer appropriate for our child. Oh, and the costs! There was so much that we bought that we couldn't use. There were things we needed that we could not afford.

When the plane landed, and our child arrived, fortunately there were resources available for help. Our pediatrician referred us to early intervention agencies that helped us navigate the uncertain landscape of Holland. In time, we learned that this amazing trip to Holland involved difficult struggles, but there were many hidden gems to discover as well. True, it was not what we expected, but we came to appreciate the experiences and memories we would cherish for a lifetime.

We had a lot to learn about our journey through this strange new land. We studied about the important first steps to take after the diagnosis, bought more appropriate supplies and adapted what we could. We settled in for a slower, different pace. We learned to appreciate the culture of families with disabilities and the service delivery systems that serve them. Like living in Holland, families of children with disabilities live in a breathtakingly beautiful but sometimes hostile world that requires resourcefulness, resilience, and hard work. The rewards, however, far outweigh the costs."